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Volunteer Work and Humanitarian Efforts
Independence as a Judge's Quality
Family As An Alliance Of The Heart
by Kurt Mausert
" Children know the truth. Love is not an emotion. Love is behavior." -- Andrew Vachss
Some of the most disturbing cases I've dealt with in Family Court have involved the government forcing the reunification of children with unfit parents. The government's failure to remove children from homes where they are being abused is just as bad. Certain government agencies and statutes seem to worship at the altar of biology. I never have.
A strong example of the government taking too long to act can be seen in the matter of "Nicole VV, et al Abused & Neglected Children" (Click here for PDF file). Despite evidence of abuse which rose to the level of torture, it took the County where the mother lived several years to institute removal proceedings. Those years were literally hell for her children.
It takes more to be a father than being in the room at the time of conception. And it takes more to be a mother than giving birth. Some of the best parents I have seen have no biological relationship with their child. Instead, they have an alliance of the heart. Whether they are adoptive parents, foster care providers, or in some cases, family friends who have stepped in to fulfill basic needs for love and a safe place to live, these people have shown me that real family does not require biological connections.
What To Do?
Biology doesn't guarantee the ability to love and care for one's offspring. What to do? Our education system needs to do a better job preparing young people for the demands of adult life. Being a parent is the most rewarding thing one can do, but it can also be the most stressful. This is especially true if one doesn't know what to expect or have the skills to deal with the challenges that raising children can present.
Ignorance leads to stress, which leads to anger and fear. Next in line comes abuse and neglect of the children. Knowledge and training is the cure. It is easier to love others if one is confident and feeling good about one's self.
I would like to see the Family Court be involved in the effort to educate. A judge is in an excellent position to speak to young people both in the schools and by inviting classes to tour the Family Court. This may be above the call of duty for a judge, but aren't the best servants those who rise above doing just the minimum?
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